The time is coming fast. Soon, you’ll bid your teenagers farewell as they leave the nest, possibly for the first time, and head off into the unknown at university. As parents, you’ll miss them, no matter how much they’ve made you worry and fret through the years.
You’ve undoubtedly tried to teach them all you can, but as the departure date approaches, you may wonder whether you should do more to prepare your child to cope away from home.
Relax. You’ve likely done your job well. All you can do is review this list of valuable life skills, refresh them on the ones you’ve taught them and pass on advice about those they’re still lacking.
As much as they won’t admit it, young adults also get nervous about the future, so they may appreciate learning a few more tips before they enter the wide world and university life.
1. Money and Credit Management
Living in a university residence hall or shared accommodation off-campus means watching spending. For example, you’ll have to point out the intricacies of owning and using a credit card, as that credit has limits, and they’ll need to pay it back with interest.
Budgeting and saving are skills your children can draw on throughout their lives. They must learn that putting money away for necessities is more critical than buying that new mobile phone when they already have one that works perfectly. Using your household budget as a practical examplecan make the importance more transparent.
2. Decision-Making and Prioritising
When teenagers live under your roof, you make many calls that affect their daily lives. That changes quickly once children blossom into young adults and depart for new accommodations. What and when to eat and how early to leave a party are now their decisions instead of eating prepared meals at specific times and abiding by your set curfews.
Allowing your teenagers a modicum of responsibility as they grow and mature means they’ll more easily adapt to prioritising and making better decisions when they have no other options. Even if they make poor choices under your guidance, they’ll learn from the experience and can apply this knowledge moving forward.
3. Self-Discipline and Organisation
Self-discipline is a life skill that aligns with money management, decision-making and many other valuable skills teenagers and young adults must learn before leaving home. When your children can control their impulsesand make wiser choices, their blossoming adult lives will become more manageable and, usually, more successful.
If you can teach your kids how to be organised and self-disciplined at school, they’ll carry these life skills into their university studies. Instil a good work ethic and responsibility to complete schoolwork and chores before moving on to leisure activities.
However, you should be lenient, as being rigid and overly strict could cause them to internally rebel at the first taste of independence. Discuss extenuating circumstances that might alter their after-school schedules and allow for changes with the proviso that they complete school assignments and chores on time. Your flexibility allows your kids to discipline themselves and organise their lives to suit your agreed-upon changes.
4. Flexibility and Time Management
The flexibility you display to your children as they grow up provides an example for them in their formative adult lives. Kids notice more than you give them credit for, and your practical examples serve as learning points for them throughout their childhood and teenage years. If you can encourage this flexibility while teaching them to manage their time, they’ll be better off when you’re not there to assist.
Time management is a learned skill, with some people more adept than others at co-ordinating their daily routines. The trick is to adjust when things do not go according to plan. In these situations, shuffling tasks and responsibilities to go with the flow is an accomplishment to be proud of.
If your children combine self-discipline, organisational skills and flexibility, they’ll learn to manage their time more effectively.
5. Resourcefulness and Persistence
These two qualities go hand in hand. People who keep striving instead of giving up will usually reach their goals, no matter the difficulties and setbacks. Headstrong children can be challenging, as they never take no for an answer and often try different tactics to change your mind. If your kids have these perceived ‘dubious’ qualities, recognise and refine them to achieve positive outcomes.
Resourcefulness and persistence mean children have the skills to motivate themselves to overcome obstacles by finding solutions where others might quit. When studying, this could mean your teenage or young adult children earn higher grades by looking at scenarios from different angles.
These qualities become even more valuable as they move into the working world. However, your offspring must also accept that they will not always succeed, despite their ambition and determination.
6. Goal-Setting and Accepting Failure
As your youngsters step out into independence at university, arriving on campus with specific goals and dreams motivates them to succeed in their studies, extracurricular activities and everyday student life. Being goal-oriented enables focus, which makes hitting targets more realistic when combined with many other life skills.
You might remember your kids excelling at sport, art or academics. Maybe your children spoke about being the best footballer or actor in the world or wanting to become a doctor or adventurer from an early age. Though sometimes unrealistic, these dreams drive young people to try harder to pursue their goals.
Even if many of these childhood fantasies are long gone, you should continue encouraging remaining or new goal-based progression while also being sympathetic to setbacks when they happen. Children of all ages must learn to accept failure as a lesson and a stepping stone toward future success. Instead of disappointment and negativity, your encouragement provides them with additional motivation to succeed next time.
7. Controlling Emotions and Setting Boundaries
At formative ages, children express themselves through many emotions, with tantrums, sulking and overexuberance all commonplace. The boundaries you set in reacting to these outbursts can define how they progress as they grow older. Younger kids tend to push the limits to establish how much they can get away with, which becomes the template for their behaviour as they age.
Perhaps you were too lenient or strict with your children growing up. While you may regret your previous actions now, you must recognise that any extreme or nonexistent boundaries you set then define much of who your teenager is today. Fortunately, teenagers have abundant capacity to learn, so changing your reactions could still pave the way for improved emotional control and boundary-setting in the future
Anger is a complex emotion that can be challenging to deal with, especially if it has been deep-seated over many years. While expressing anger is often helpful, suppressing it can result in aggression. Whether outward, inward or passive, being overly aggressive can hamper a young adult in a new environment, so consider having your child work with a therapist who can teach them healthier coping skills.
8. Communicating and Listening
Verbal and nonverbal communication is imperative in most sectors of society, and attentive listening makes it easier to achieve. You may have practised communicating with your kids throughout their lives, maintaining an attitude of openness and honesty that will benefit them as they embark on their journeys into adulthood.
While communication is effective for self-promotion when done well, doing so means combining it with two other crucial life skills — social skills and good manners. Open and honest communication isn’t necessarily healthy. If your children are too blunt and insensitive, it may spark conflict and resentment, so the manners and social etiquette you’ve taught them growing up will stand them in good stead.
Conversing well means being sensitive to others and intently listening when they speak. Doing so will earn you more respect from your conversation partner and help you build a positive impression. If your kids are polite in conversations and email correspondence, they’ll stand better chances of finding a part-time job to supplement their university allowance, allowing for a more active life away from home.
9. Practical Life Skills
While many life skills involve innate behaviours and personality traits, others are more hands-on and practical, especially when your young adult kids leave home for the first time.
Doing laundry: Ideally, you’ve made laundry duty one of your children’s chores. They'll value the knowledge when they leave home and move into a university residence hall.
Grocery shopping: There’s an art to buying necessities that will save any home-leaver money and time. Having self-discipline and budgeting skills means they’ll stick to their shopping lists better.
Cooking and cleaning: Being comfortable preparing meals and tidying up afterward will help your university student children prepare those shopping lists beforehand. Prioritising and managing their time means they’ll better fit in all the essential but time-consuming tasks.
Driving and public transport use: If your child has a car and a driving licence, they can take themselves wherever they need to go. Otherwise, knowing the intricacies of public transport will help until they learn to drive. Setting a goal of learning to drive and practicing etiquette while on a crowded tube or bus will serve young people well.
Job hunting and work: Your youngsters' excellent communication skills can assist in finding part-time work. Once they have secured a position, good time management skills to balance their work and studies will be invaluable.
Basic first aid: Knowing how to clean and dress a wound will help your children when you’re not around to assist. Being organised and resourceful means they’ll know where everything is and make necessary plans should an emergency arise.
Getting enough sleep: When they’re studying, it’ll be necessary for your young adults to combine their self-discipline with good boundaries to ensure they’re home early enough on nights out to be well-rested for classes the next day.
Having as many critical life skills as possible will help any youngster leaving home for the first time to have a successful and independent life in a university environment.
Starting University Means a Whole New World
Leaving for university will be exciting for your young adult children, though it will also likely include a reasonable amount of nervousness and trepidation. As a parent, if you’ve done all you can to prepare them for life away from home, you’ll be confident that, however much you’ll miss them, they’ll use the life skills you’ve nurtured in them to cope admirably in their brand-new environment.
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