Relationships, Sex and Health Education “RSHE” is designed to help students stay safe and healthy. It aims to support teens in managing their personal and social lives positively, helping them to make informed decisions by understanding facts and knowing where to go to get more support.
RSHE covers a wide range of topics. This includes looking after mental and physical health, recognising healthy and unhealthy relationships, understanding how to stay safe online and facts about potentially harmful substances. The aim of lessons is to create a supportive environment where young people feel comfortable addressing their concerns.
Some parents feel uncertain, and in some cases uncomfortable, with some of the topics covered in RSHE. In this article we’ll take a close look into the course content, why it’s important and how you can support your teen at home by providing a safe place for them to talk about things they may be struggling to understand.
If you’re interested in practical things you can do at home to support your teen with their studies and development, read The Parents’ Guide to Homelife and study – GCSE and sixth form.
What is RSHE?
Relationships, Sex and Health Education (“RSHE”) promotes mental and emotional wellbeing by providing young people with strategies to manage stress, build resilience, and seek support when needed. RSHE became compulsory in all secondary schools as of September 2020. The world for young people looks very different from the way it did 20 years ago, especially because technology and social media play a significant role in their lives.
A small section of the RSHE curriculum covers intimate relationships, but its overall scope is much broader. By learning about topics like healthy relationships, consent, and personal safety, young people are able to make informed decisions about their own wellbeing and relationships.
Here's a snapshot of course content:
There’s no grade or qualifications given for RSHE, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t important. It’s an essential
component of helping teenagers understand behaviours that affect their health and safety. Content centres around helping teens develop the knowledge, characteristics and resilience they will need as adults. At times, we all face difficulties in life, and it’s important to know there is support available, and how and where to get it.
How is RSHE taught?
Schools have a great deal of flexibility as to how and when RSHE topics are taught. This means that what your teen learns about from Year 7 to Year 11 may be different from school to school (so don’t compare if you have teens in different schools), but in the fullness of time the school must cover all subject areas. This allows schools to bear in mind sensitivities within their own unique communities.
Many schools deliver RSHE in timetabled lessons as part of their Personal, Social, Health and Economic (PSHE) curriculum, but some schools may deliver it through off-timetable days and workshops that take place at various times throughout the school year. External specialists may be invited to speak on certain areas, which might fall outside the expertise of school teachers, such as a member of staff from a Sexual Health Clinic.
You can contact your teen’s school to find out more about their approach.
Must my teen attend RSHE lessons at school?
Yes! Provision of the full RSHE curriculum is a legal requirement in secondary schools and students are expected to attend lessons.
However, you can delay your teen’s participation in the sex education elements up until three terms before their sixteenth birthday (the legal age of consent). This is called the “right to withdraw”. For example, if your teen is starting Year 10 in September 2024 and they will be 16 in September 2025, you do not have the right
to withdraw at any time in Year 10. If they will be 16 in August 2026, you can request they do not attend the sex education unit of RSHE throughout Year 10. When they enter Year 11 in September 2025, it becomes their choice.
We don’t recommend withdrawing your teen from components of RSE because they will miss out on guided discussion with the correct information and may, instead, seek out information from unreliable online sources or their friends.
Your right to information
If you are concerned about RSHE, or would like more details of exactly what will be covered, we
suggest:
Obtaining a copy of the RSHE curriculum from your child’s school so you can see what topics your teen will be learning about each year
Asking for examples of the resources used in the delivery of RSHE to understand how certain topics are taught
Speaking with a member of staff from your teen’s school to discuss with them the parts of the curriculum that make you feel uncomfortable
Reviewing the school policy (which
has been created in consultation
with parents)
Objectives for RSE
Judgement – to help teens determine who is trustworthy and be able to judge when situations are unsafe, as well as being able to distinguish reliable sources of information from unreliable ones.
Respect – to help teens understand what makes healthy and positive relationships and friendships; understand boundaries, privacy, consent, resolving conflict and ending relationships
Stereotypes – how and why these can cause damage.
Online – how information and data is created, collected, shared and used; their rights and responsibilities, the risks, how and where to get support if needed.
Consent – the concepts and laws relating to consent and how people can communicate and recognise consent.
Intimate relationships – the importance of reproductive health, the positive aspects of healthy one-to-one relationships, managing sexual pressure and where to get further advice.
Why parents are so important
Parents are a very important influence on their teen's decisions, how they think and whether they feel able to get more information. When parents communicate frequently and openly, teenage children feel closer to them and more able to talk about things they're unsure about.
Many parents worry that their teen might not be ready to learn about relationships and sex. However, RSHE is much more than just “sex”. It teaches young people about all relationships, including how to be a good friend, family member, and citizen, and does not promote early sexual experimentation. Instead, it educates young people about human sexuality and how to respect themselves and others.
When it comes to relationships and sex, education shouldn’t happen as a one-off “sit down talk”. By regularly talking about RSHE topics at home you will help to take away some of the stigma by making it part of the everyday. You’ll also help your teen understand the differences between what they may see online versus what they experience in real-life:- in some cases the contrast can be extreme.
An easy way to get comfortable with RSHE topics is to watch television aimed at teenagers. Using television is a great way to talk about sensitive issues because it shifts the focus from your teen to imaginary characters, making it much easier for them to express opinions without feeling it’s personal and about them.
Our top ten tips on how to talk to your teen about relationships and sex
1. Start early and often
Being open to discussing relationships and sex early in your teen’s life will help them feel more comfortable talking to you and asking questions when they’re older. Having regular conversations also sends the message that these topics are important enough to talk about regularly and are a normal part of life.
2. Listen without interrupting
Listening to your teen is key in helping them become comfortable with talking and opening up to you. Encourage them to talk by asking lots of questions. If they start the conversation with a question, get them to share with you what they already know about the topic before giving them an answer. This will help you assess their scope of understanding and give you chance to find out more about what they know before you share your knowledge.
3. It’s ok to feel embarrassed or awkward
Everyone’s comfort level is different when it comes to discussing relationships and sex. Try not to let embarrassment or awkwardness discourage you or your teen from having these conversations. It is likely that your teen will be very grateful to you for taking the initiative to talk about it and let them ask questions – so long as you don’t make it about them!
4. Try to be positive without judgement
You want your child to be able to talk to you about anything so it’s important that you do not invalidate them, their feelings and their experiences but approach the conversation ready to listen. Try not to say anything that might close down the channels of conversation now or in the future and try not to focus only on the dangers and negative consequences of relationships and sex; it's important you recognise all the positive aspects and feelings too.
5. Don’t make assumptions
Don’t assume that just because your teen has asked you a question about relationships or sex, that they’re actually in one or actively participating. Plenty of teens may ask questions about these topics because they are curious or they’ve come across something online or through a friend. If your teen asks you a question, provide them with an answer, if you don’t have one, be truthful. This helps create trust between you and them and will make it easier for them to turn to you for help when they’re older.
6. Ask for a copy of your teen’s RSE curriculum from their school
Ask for a copy of your teen’s RSE curriculum from their school. This will let you know when topics are being covered so that you can talk to your teen about these topics before or after they come up (depending on what’s easier for you). If you’re not comfortable with the topics, you can talk to school staff about how they will present the information. Schools spend a lot of time making sure their lessons are age appropriate and suitable for their students and their communities.
7. Use prompts to get the conversation started
If you’re struggling to get the conversation started, television shows, movies, websites, books and magazines can be a springboard for educating them about relationships or sex without the difficulty of initiating a conversation that seems targeted specifically at them. For example, if dating, LGBTQIA+ issues, love or sex come up on a TV show or in a movie that you are watching together, it can prompt a discussion. Questions like, ‘what would you do if someone you were dating acted like that character in this TV show’ can help trigger useful conversations where you learn how they feel without making it about them.
8. Make it about values
There are a lot of places your teen can go to find out about relationships and sex – school, books, internet and friends. What’s important is that you help your teen learn positive and healthy values around these topics – such as how to treat others kindly and respectfully. Without this guidance, young people can learn from sources with unrealistic depictions of relationships and sex.
9. Don’t always make it about them
Your teen might fight it easier to talk about relationships and sex when it’s in the third person. Stories about friends, family members or examples you come across on the TV or in the news are all good ways to get your teen speaking. Questions such as ‘what do you think that person should have done?’, ‘what could they have done differently?’ and ‘what pressures might they have felt?’ can help get your teen talking freely about potentially difficult topics. This is because it shifts the focus from your teen to imaginary characters, making it much easier for them to express opinions without feeling it’s personal and about them.
10. It’s ok not to have all the answers
It’s ok to tell your teen that you don’t know the answer to something. Either tell them that you’ll get back to them after you’ve done a bit of research or use it as an opportunity to do the research together. There are plenty of great resources and websites on the internet for parents and their children. If you’re not sure where to start, try www.brook.org.uk
Sharing your values
RSHE helps teens across a range of topics, including looking after mental and physical health, recognising healthy and unhealthy relationships and being safe online – all of which centre on wellbeing. Some of these subjects can feel tricky to talk about. It can be uncharted territory for you and your teen, so it’s important to approach these discussions with empathy and patience, acknowledging that your teen may feel awkward or
embarrassed too. Don't forget - these conversations also give you the chance to share your values as a parent with your teen. It’s an opportunity to discuss what you believe is important in relationships and healthy choices.
Want to know more about RSHE and how you can help your teen at home?
Take a look at our specialist guide, which also includes reliable charities where you can get confidential information on sensitive issues.
We always love to hear from you, so do let us know if there are any subjects you’d like us to chat to you about. Don't forget, subscribe to our parent newsletter and receive all the latest tips, advice and support on how you can help your teenage child straight to your inbox. Stay safe and keep happy,
Vanessa and Darius - info@theparentsguideto.co.uk
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